Sunflowers,
This is just my humble opinion, but I think the medical insurance is a priority... after seeing the cost of my husband's treatments - he blew through over a million dollars in 13 months. There is just no way anyone can have enough savings to cover the major stuff, plus the additional costs of traveling, lodging, etc. if the worst were to happen. I was able to get a somewhat affordable policy ($400 less than what I would have paid through cobra) for the three of us through Cap. Blue Cross - the "catch" was that it doesn't cover maternity/delivery. Since I'm done having babies anyway, that was fine for me.

Regarding work - I've been thinking about that too. I homeschool my two kids, and am determined to continue, as I feel it is the best option for them. Have you considered working from home? I know there are a lot of WAH scams out there, but there are also a lot of legitimate opportunities. I wish I had more info to pass on to you - it's on my "to do" list to research that.

I'll be praying for you,
Adele

Joanna,

I don't know but is it possible to "give back" or not accept that $87/month (or whatever it is) out of your survivor's benefits so that the kids will still qualify for CHIPs.  I haven't had to look into anything like this...but it may be worth the effort to allow you to stay home for just a little longer. 

--Camie

Is there a social worker somewhere is your sphere of friends/acquaintances?  (The social worker in the hospital unit that treated my husband was a great help for some time after my husband died).  Schools and churches sometime have one. They are more familiar with assistance programs and income limits and options.  They may also have a financial planner referral (there are some good not-for-profits, but they tend to be local).  A financial planner can help you think through the costs (car repairs, insurance, gas) and income trade-off both for the current year and down the road. They help take the emotion out of the choices (then you put it back in after you leave).

I don't think many people realize that along with losing a spouse, we also lose our way of life.  It was too much grief for me to lose everything all at once.  Yesterday the babysitter went to my daughter's orthodontist appointment.  I needed to stay at work.  For two years, I have been trying to cover everything so it wouldn't be so obvious that Dad wasn't around.  I was so busy around the time of the appointment, I didn't have time to feel guilty about not being there.

My husband was a stay-at-home dad and I worked, so what changed for us when he died wasn't my working, it was not having a parent at home with the kids.  My experience is that I bristle at some suggestions people offer for helping me manage (having my babysitter stay longer so I can exercise). Then later when I don't feel so emotional about why I have to cope (because none of this would be happening if he hadn't died) then I recognize that some of the suggestions are right on target.  I have picked up many pointers from single-working mothers who have more experience in surviving.

Thanks guys for all the prayers and advice. Life doesn't seem so stressfull now (I know the Lord has it undercontrol) eventhough some of the decisions haven't been decided yet.

I have decided to pay for the insurance for the kids and possibly take a part time job a couple days a week to help off set the cost that is going out.

I still worry about leaving the kids (not so much the older two but my youngest - 8). I just want to be there for him like I was for my older two.

I just have to keep reminding myself "It's all in God's hands.".

i recieve chip for all 3 of my children.  my husband work stopped all medical benefits the day after he died.  i was in shock. no notice or nothing.. i found out a month later by letter.  i am paying cobra now for me. but i put my kids on chip. i stay at home with my children and that is what i had been doing prior to his death.  i need to be here at this time for my 3 kids. ( they are 9, 6, and 4)  i look at it if i can get some assistes for the government so be it... i had no choice in keith dying.. when they get a little older i may look for a part time job with the school the kids attend. it is me that is here for them. i have to be here for them.  there is no other parent that can call in sick to help.  the whle thing is crazy but take what you can use... give back when you can